I think this is basic competition.
For example, in board games, there are several types:
- Competitive games: every person for themselves; there’s one winner, everyone else loses
- Co-op games: every human vs. “the game”, often in the form of AI opponents, or environmental conditions; everyone wins or everyone loses
- Team games: X vs. Y players (and sometimes more than two teams); one team wins, everyone else loses
I feel like work is meant to be a co-op game, but just like co-op games, even though you’re supposed to be on the same team, you often still want to feel like “the best”. Not to the point of bringing the whole team down, but to the point you can secretly feel like you carried the team.
In some hostile work environments, it can actually turn into a team game (inter-departmental competition), or even a competitive game (intra-departmental competition). I’ve been in all of these types of companies, and the co-op ones are obviously the best, especially the ones that care more about the elevation of the team over individual success.
In the military, it’s very much a team game. You are clearly on the same team, and if you don’t cooperate with your team, you will (likely) lose. Obviously, with military — particularly in war — there can be actual life and death at stake, which elevates this to an extreme level.
> - Competitive games: every person for themselves; there’s one winner, everyone else loses
If you see people finding value only in winning, you might want to switch to different gaming friends. Around here, managing the critical mass to play the game is a first collective victory. And there is plenty of congratulations and collective joy to witnessing a game strategy well played. That same strategy that others may think "crushed you". Being able to play with smart players is 100% a blessing.
I’m talking strictly the rules of gameplay, and applying that metaphorically to competition within the workplace and war.
Taken literally, of course the experience of playing a board game should be fun for everyone, regardless of the outcome.
But if you want to stick to the metaphor, I would agree that if you’re playing board games with sore losers/winners should result in finding new people to play with.
And similarly, if you have coworkers that are only looking out for themselves and their own success, without regard to the success of the team, find a new place to work.
But that’s the point I was trying to make.